My second blog is just a ranting session regarding the last few weeks of life outside of a new baby in the house. I started a philosophy course that I ended up postponing due to Jasper's arrival. It was just too much at one time, and the text is sooooooo dry. I hope I pull this off next week. Lots of reading to do. My wife's family has been in a bit of a soap opera due to a few simple statements being very misconstrued and blown out of proportion. It makes life very difficult here because my wife is concerned, and human nature is to want to fix everything. She has been out of the loop, and the fact that she was somehow dragged into this mess in the first place leaves a sour taste in my mouth. There a few people that just need to chilax, remember what's most important, stop with the word vomit, get over it, grow a set, learn how to deal with conflict, and learn when selective reporting is the best method. It looks like we will not be going to San Diego this summer, which is kind of a bummer, but it may be for the best.
Work is just a chaotic mess of crap all the time. I cannot believe the amount of stress I allow it to cause me, even when I have so many wonderful things going on in my life right now. There is a promotional opportunity at work, an associate director position, and I have applied for it. I am sure interviews will start sometime this week. I am very interested to see the outcome. Of course, being completely bias, I feel I am the best candidate for the job and I will probably provide more success than Victoria. She has started a rumor, denied it, lied to me about the simplest things, and is now attempting to work with my employees on everything. I am getting so sick of it! The only way I will truly get this job is if my supervisor can really tell what is going on and knows how Victoria operates. I question whether she knows what's going on or not. I am also supposed to be hiring two more people for this position that no one really knows about because we are piloting the position. We have three folks coming up here from the Springs this week, and my boss will be out for three of the five days. I go through all of these scenarios in my head, how I am going to react, what could make or break the situation the last few days, what my family and I are going to do if this does not pan out well, and finally, even if this does pan out well to where I get the job, how to I handle Victoria under me? My team is doing fairly well, but all of my attention seems to be focused on getting this silly job. I will keep you posted.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Feeling Strangely Fine
Hello Everyone,
I apologize I have not blogged in quite some time. Many things have popped up the last three weeks that will probably change the direction my life was heading forever. How could it not? I would like to welcome my son into the world, 'Jasper' was born on February 11th at 4:36 AM. What an adventure that was. Belleza woke me up shortly after midnight because she was reeling from a contraction. By 1 AM, the contractions started to get a little more intense. I really thought I had another day or two to prepare for Jasper's arrival, but he had other plans. By 2:30, the contractions were six minutes apart, we woke up our friends to let them know we were bringing the kids by, and I started to panic a little just because it finally clicked that the time had arrived. We have experienced a very mild winter this year, but it just so happened that it snowed about three inches that very evening, so I knew we were in for an interesting ride to the hospital. By the time I finally got the stuff in the car, the children up and in the car, and then Belleza in the car because she was contracting non-stop at that point, I was frazzled and it was 3 AM. We dropped the kids off, I roared out of our neighborhood, onto the freeway, and away we went. I do believe we had some Divine intervention because the roads were not awful, but I couldn't go as fast as I wanted to. Belleza was over in the passenger seat 
telling me to go to another hospital, hyperventilating, and trying to keep track of her breathing at the same time. I tried to help when I could, and ultimately, the decision was made to go to our original hospital. We pulled in at 3:45 AM. I left the car running, unlocked, and walked Belleza into the ER. They took a few minutes to get the wheelchair there, but they made it. I went out and parked the car, grabbed our stuff, and made it up to the room in enough time to catch all of the action. My wife decided to do all of this naturally, and it was a good thing. She was a real trooper, other than getting a little to excited with her breathing, she did wonderfully. The OBGYN made it just in enough time to catch, so literally, after about 15 minutes of pushing, tops, Jasper was born. He was 21.5 inches long and weighed 7 lbs. 13 oz. He had a ton of thick, black hair. It almost looked like he had a wig on. Belleza bled a little longer than they wanted, so we stayed in the delivery room a bit longer, but other than that, everything went great. Family and friends came, were notified, and the two girls were very excited to see the little baby. He has been a very good sleeper, a well-mannered little baby, and everyone just thinks he is the cutest thing. He is the noisiest sleeper I have ever heard. I cannot get over how much he grunts, clears his throat, sighs, and otherwise makes random noises. Oldest sister is my three year old mommy, and my middle is now figuring out where her place is in this world. I have nicknamed her my little emotional one. She is a character. I will certainly keep you updated on his progress.
telling me to go to another hospital, hyperventilating, and trying to keep track of her breathing at the same time. I tried to help when I could, and ultimately, the decision was made to go to our original hospital. We pulled in at 3:45 AM. I left the car running, unlocked, and walked Belleza into the ER. They took a few minutes to get the wheelchair there, but they made it. I went out and parked the car, grabbed our stuff, and made it up to the room in enough time to catch all of the action. My wife decided to do all of this naturally, and it was a good thing. She was a real trooper, other than getting a little to excited with her breathing, she did wonderfully. The OBGYN made it just in enough time to catch, so literally, after about 15 minutes of pushing, tops, Jasper was born. He was 21.5 inches long and weighed 7 lbs. 13 oz. He had a ton of thick, black hair. It almost looked like he had a wig on. Belleza bled a little longer than they wanted, so we stayed in the delivery room a bit longer, but other than that, everything went great. Family and friends came, were notified, and the two girls were very excited to see the little baby. He has been a very good sleeper, a well-mannered little baby, and everyone just thinks he is the cutest thing. He is the noisiest sleeper I have ever heard. I cannot get over how much he grunts, clears his throat, sighs, and otherwise makes random noises. Oldest sister is my three year old mommy, and my middle is now figuring out where her place is in this world. I have nicknamed her my little emotional one. She is a character. I will certainly keep you updated on his progress.Sunday, February 8, 2009
Life Is A Funny Thing...
This is an Ode to life in general. Since I returned home from Phoenix, it has been a very interesting time. Baby Fine is due any day, but Bella is ready to pop. Not to mention she has been very ill for the last three days. All things combined have made for a very stressful 10 days. At work, I have been informed that there will possibly be promotional opportunities in the near future. I was so elated to begin with, but as time passed, I realized the way my supervisor described the position, it was basically lined up for Victoria, my arch-nemesis to take that spot. I have been incredibly stress over this because I do not want to work for her. If she got that position, I would report directly to her. I have since asked Heavenly Father to help me deal with this added stress and bless me that I will know everything is working out this way for a reason. I may end up moving the family down to Phoenix after all. ;-) In addition to this crazy news, everyone has been on edge at work lately. It is crazy to think that people have actually argued over music volume in the next cube. I truly feel that things are not going to turn out the way I want, but I pray that my supervisor sees through the cloud of smoke Victoria is putting up. I am going to dispel the rumors floating around and remember my priorities. I am so excited to have Baby Fine joining our family soon. It is hard to believe we will actually have a boy running around soon. I am grateful for all of the blessings we receive on a daily basis. My beautiful wife reminds me constantly that I am expecting things to happen without doing my part. That can only happen so much before Heavenly Father decides that I am in need of humility and opportunities to learn and grow, rather than the worldly success.
I am reading a wonderful book by Lee Cockerell, the former executive director of operations at Disney, and he describes effective leadership and customer service. I am almost excited about reading more. I want to lead my team in the same way he is describing in this book. I would take a job at Disney, simply based on what he is describing in this book. Time will tell. We have been very successful at getting stuff done around the house. We finally got the trim up in my oldest's room and shelves in the closet to boot! I finally found something that I dislike about our new van. It took me 90 minutes in the cold to move our bucket seat over to the middle to accommodate another car seat. I am optimistic about the future. There are great things in store. I told Bella that I can no longer hate February because our son will be born at that time. I have a feeling I will know soon enough about the job, but at this point, I need to focus on other things.
I am reading a wonderful book by Lee Cockerell, the former executive director of operations at Disney, and he describes effective leadership and customer service. I am almost excited about reading more. I want to lead my team in the same way he is describing in this book. I would take a job at Disney, simply based on what he is describing in this book. Time will tell. We have been very successful at getting stuff done around the house. We finally got the trim up in my oldest's room and shelves in the closet to boot! I finally found something that I dislike about our new van. It took me 90 minutes in the cold to move our bucket seat over to the middle to accommodate another car seat. I am optimistic about the future. There are great things in store. I told Bella that I can no longer hate February because our son will be born at that time. I have a feeling I will know soon enough about the job, but at this point, I need to focus on other things.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
When Did I Grow Up?
This is going to be a really quick post. I remembered an experience that I was so excited to blog about when I arrived home from Arizona, but I totally spaced it. When did I really grow up? I went to the store to purchase a surprise for my oldest daughter. I was very excited to find some Kung Fu Panda stuff, but of course, they were all out. I started looking around and found the next best thing: Tinkerbell and Princesses. I found just what I was looking for, but the price was an incredible $25. All that bought me a Tinkerbell action figure that could flap her wings and a wardrobe change. At this point, I was frustrated and realized that everything was too freakin' much money. Did my parents spend this much on toys for me when I was a kid? I loved them all I am sure, but I would kick my parent's butt if I could go back and see they were spending this much money. I decided on a middle-of-the-road Tinkerbell figure, with no wardrobe change, but functioning wings. It only set me back $12. Granted all the toys I want now that I am all grown up are upwards of several hundred dollars, but we won't get into that.
Residency Journal - Day 5
1. Identify personal insights, moments of critical questioning, and comments or ideas from today’s workshop that have impacted you.
At this point in time, I continue thinking about ways to apply the things I have learned and not become stagnant or continue on in the program without applying the skills and knowledge I have gained in this residency. Talking about the dissertation today actually got me really excited about the prospects for the future. I am becoming more and more undecided about my current job, and I hope that time will tell regarding moving here to Phoenix and continuing on in another capacity. Our presentation went better than expected, but feedback included simple items of content and reflective praxis that we should have included. I guarantee the model was not sufficient, and we should have applied each facet to the model. Also, there was a question regarding our ethics issue and possibilities why leadership would not work with telecommunications.
In talking with Dr. Deb, I believe I am ready to move forward, but I have to apply these issues to the class and everyone exists with information imbedded in them. Given enough time, this information will surface.
She also mentioned that every unresolved issue I have in my life will come up during my residency. That is a very scary thought. I can see the baby, moving, finances, family member issues, and work all having some impact within the next year or so.
2. Describe why these insights, questions, and ideas are important to you. What effect do they have and what dilemmas, questions, or possibilities do they raise? How do these issues affect the clarity, order, confusion, or chaos of your thinking?
I need to have my own bag of creativity that enables me to think outside the box, get creative with my solutions, and develop my creative thinking abilities. In regards to reading, synthesis, and overall analysis, I really need to take the position of asking questions and determining why something may or may not be the case. I can do that with work, school, and home life. I want to play with my daughter more, and allow myself to get creative with her. I also want to read two articles a week that may apply to my dissertation and catalog everything I have into a spreadsheet like what Dr. Deb mentioned in class.
I believe I can move forward with my dissertation idea, as long as I spend the time to properly research the topic, and develop a process, or method of solving the problem. I do not need to develop an actual solution. I also need to apply the same carefree attitude I used here at residency in the workplace. If they do not like my ideas, that is one thing. I need to be able to lead, yet also have difficult conversations and reason with them regarding our situatedness and make them get creative with me. I know if I put it back on them, they will produce more than if I keep it on myself.
3. What issues, questions, and dilemmas are you going to explore further? Why and how? How will your actions influence who you are and how you relate to others? What relational nets can you construct to continue this process of reflective and critical learning?
I am going to explore some documentation on critical thinking, actually read the articles that have been assigned, and relate to others who are having difficulty thinking critically. I also need to find out about relational nets. ;-) I feel that in order to provide effective communication, I cannot assume I know where someone else is coming from. I have to ask when I have questions relative to a situation or problem.
At this point in time, I continue thinking about ways to apply the things I have learned and not become stagnant or continue on in the program without applying the skills and knowledge I have gained in this residency. Talking about the dissertation today actually got me really excited about the prospects for the future. I am becoming more and more undecided about my current job, and I hope that time will tell regarding moving here to Phoenix and continuing on in another capacity. Our presentation went better than expected, but feedback included simple items of content and reflective praxis that we should have included. I guarantee the model was not sufficient, and we should have applied each facet to the model. Also, there was a question regarding our ethics issue and possibilities why leadership would not work with telecommunications.
In talking with Dr. Deb, I believe I am ready to move forward, but I have to apply these issues to the class and everyone exists with information imbedded in them. Given enough time, this information will surface.
She also mentioned that every unresolved issue I have in my life will come up during my residency. That is a very scary thought. I can see the baby, moving, finances, family member issues, and work all having some impact within the next year or so.
2. Describe why these insights, questions, and ideas are important to you. What effect do they have and what dilemmas, questions, or possibilities do they raise? How do these issues affect the clarity, order, confusion, or chaos of your thinking?
I need to have my own bag of creativity that enables me to think outside the box, get creative with my solutions, and develop my creative thinking abilities. In regards to reading, synthesis, and overall analysis, I really need to take the position of asking questions and determining why something may or may not be the case. I can do that with work, school, and home life. I want to play with my daughter more, and allow myself to get creative with her. I also want to read two articles a week that may apply to my dissertation and catalog everything I have into a spreadsheet like what Dr. Deb mentioned in class.
I believe I can move forward with my dissertation idea, as long as I spend the time to properly research the topic, and develop a process, or method of solving the problem. I do not need to develop an actual solution. I also need to apply the same carefree attitude I used here at residency in the workplace. If they do not like my ideas, that is one thing. I need to be able to lead, yet also have difficult conversations and reason with them regarding our situatedness and make them get creative with me. I know if I put it back on them, they will produce more than if I keep it on myself.
3. What issues, questions, and dilemmas are you going to explore further? Why and how? How will your actions influence who you are and how you relate to others? What relational nets can you construct to continue this process of reflective and critical learning?
I am going to explore some documentation on critical thinking, actually read the articles that have been assigned, and relate to others who are having difficulty thinking critically. I also need to find out about relational nets. ;-) I feel that in order to provide effective communication, I cannot assume I know where someone else is coming from. I have to ask when I have questions relative to a situation or problem.
Residency Journal - Day 4
1. Identify personal insights, moments of critical questioning, and comments or ideas from today’s workshop that have impacted you.
Up to this point, I realize now that I have a greater impact on the class and on the other students than I thought. I believe there is a huge issue with charisma and leadership. With charisma, someone like myself can turn into an effective speaker, full of confidence, and one that can direct a team into the future. That does not necessarily mean doing everything or forcing my ideas upon everyone, but I can impose my opinions and be asked what I think.
I realize that even though are presentation was good, there was a great deal of opportunity to improve. We did not discuss the team dynamic in great depth, and I realize we did not walk through the process very well. There was no ‘understood leader’, but I would put myself as the closest to that. I felt we all accommodated and collaborated with each other to come up with a game plan. I would like to take a journey down the entire process. It is important to take notes throughout the project regarding dynamics, power, authority, and decision making paradigms.
Content wise, we should have improved our problem statement, with more along the lines of the problem with online learning teams is that asynchronous communication results in…..
Provide more depth regarding tools available, why we think this is an issue, and perhaps ask why two more times to get to the level we want to be at.
2. Describe why these insights, questions, and ideas are important to you. What effect do they have and what dilemmas, questions, or possibilities do they raise? How do these issues affect the clarity, order, confusion, or chaos of your thinking?
Again, there is so much more I can do if I do not limit myself and provide greater structure, sythesis, critical and creative thinking, and work on dynamics.
We talked about our situatedness yet again, so I really need to focus on where I am coming from with that perspective, or where I believe the author is coming from, based on what I read. What assumptions or biases could cause these reactions.
Synthesis is putting the two articles together and coming up with something new. In the case of the assignment, I did more compare and contrast. I should have pursued the line of implementing more discussion on controversial topics along with writing and lecturing in the classroom.
I think this is going to affect the overall structure of my writing and the way I analyze and present the data. Hopefully, all of this will add more clarity, order, and create less confusion within my processes.
3. What issues, questions, and dilemmas are you going to explore further? Why and how? How will your actions influence who you are and how you relate to others? What relational nets can you construct to continue this process of reflective and critical learning?
I really need to spend time thinking critically, asking why, think about assumptions I am making and how that applies to my situatedness.
Up to this point, I realize now that I have a greater impact on the class and on the other students than I thought. I believe there is a huge issue with charisma and leadership. With charisma, someone like myself can turn into an effective speaker, full of confidence, and one that can direct a team into the future. That does not necessarily mean doing everything or forcing my ideas upon everyone, but I can impose my opinions and be asked what I think.
I realize that even though are presentation was good, there was a great deal of opportunity to improve. We did not discuss the team dynamic in great depth, and I realize we did not walk through the process very well. There was no ‘understood leader’, but I would put myself as the closest to that. I felt we all accommodated and collaborated with each other to come up with a game plan. I would like to take a journey down the entire process. It is important to take notes throughout the project regarding dynamics, power, authority, and decision making paradigms.
Content wise, we should have improved our problem statement, with more along the lines of the problem with online learning teams is that asynchronous communication results in…..
Provide more depth regarding tools available, why we think this is an issue, and perhaps ask why two more times to get to the level we want to be at.
2. Describe why these insights, questions, and ideas are important to you. What effect do they have and what dilemmas, questions, or possibilities do they raise? How do these issues affect the clarity, order, confusion, or chaos of your thinking?
Again, there is so much more I can do if I do not limit myself and provide greater structure, sythesis, critical and creative thinking, and work on dynamics.
We talked about our situatedness yet again, so I really need to focus on where I am coming from with that perspective, or where I believe the author is coming from, based on what I read. What assumptions or biases could cause these reactions.
Synthesis is putting the two articles together and coming up with something new. In the case of the assignment, I did more compare and contrast. I should have pursued the line of implementing more discussion on controversial topics along with writing and lecturing in the classroom.
I think this is going to affect the overall structure of my writing and the way I analyze and present the data. Hopefully, all of this will add more clarity, order, and create less confusion within my processes.
3. What issues, questions, and dilemmas are you going to explore further? Why and how? How will your actions influence who you are and how you relate to others? What relational nets can you construct to continue this process of reflective and critical learning?
I really need to spend time thinking critically, asking why, think about assumptions I am making and how that applies to my situatedness.
Residency Journal - Day 3
1. Identify personal insights, moments of critical questioning, and comments or ideas from today’s workshop that have impacted you.
Today I have furthered my argument that I can be a good scholar if I develop a writing process strategy and actually spend the time to develop my thoughts and research specific topics. I received feedback on my first paper and presentation, which went very well. I also received feedback on my deconstruction of a non-peer reviewed article in which I selected Robert Krugman. I did well on that assignment too, except I misunderstood that I needed to add my own insights regarding the author’s style and voice and how it applies to my writing, rather than in regards to the content.
We discussed thinking outside of the realm of our assumed reality with the triangle exercise. We also did an activity with the thinking models. We selected the Attitude Choice model and we basically went through what events are important, how our beliefs or assumptions work, and then how that relates to emotions, consequences, and reactions. I learned that not everything is so obvious, and depending on others’ backgrounds and perspectives, their reaction may result in vastly different beliefs and consequences or emotions. We did draw a loop back to the belief/attitude box.
Finally, we reviewed our peer’s article. I was actually very disappointed because the author’s paper I received was practically unfinished and had very little content in it. I realize how bad it looks for others in the scholarly community to read something like that.
2. Describe why these insights, questions, and ideas are important to you. What effect do they have and what dilemmas, questions, or possibilities do they raise? How do these issues affect the clarity, order, confusion, or chaos of your thinking?
The dilemma I face with my writing is getting more in depth, spending more time to improve quality, and then having someone else read my work. This will provide additional insights into what works, what doesn’t, and I also need to focus on my audience so that I format the paper and use the proper tone. This will provide additional clarity in my writing as well as provide some order to my paper.
3. What issues, questions, and dilemmas are you going to explore further? Why and how? How will your actions influence who you are and how you relate to others? What relational nets can you construct to continue this process of reflective and critical learning?
I would like to talk with Dr. Deb about my writing, critical thinking, and how to dive down once I have scratched the surface. I know I have a lot to offer, and being in this class, I am not afraid to vocalize my confusions or voice my opinions. What happens when I am at work? J
Today I have furthered my argument that I can be a good scholar if I develop a writing process strategy and actually spend the time to develop my thoughts and research specific topics. I received feedback on my first paper and presentation, which went very well. I also received feedback on my deconstruction of a non-peer reviewed article in which I selected Robert Krugman. I did well on that assignment too, except I misunderstood that I needed to add my own insights regarding the author’s style and voice and how it applies to my writing, rather than in regards to the content.
We discussed thinking outside of the realm of our assumed reality with the triangle exercise. We also did an activity with the thinking models. We selected the Attitude Choice model and we basically went through what events are important, how our beliefs or assumptions work, and then how that relates to emotions, consequences, and reactions. I learned that not everything is so obvious, and depending on others’ backgrounds and perspectives, their reaction may result in vastly different beliefs and consequences or emotions. We did draw a loop back to the belief/attitude box.
Finally, we reviewed our peer’s article. I was actually very disappointed because the author’s paper I received was practically unfinished and had very little content in it. I realize how bad it looks for others in the scholarly community to read something like that.
2. Describe why these insights, questions, and ideas are important to you. What effect do they have and what dilemmas, questions, or possibilities do they raise? How do these issues affect the clarity, order, confusion, or chaos of your thinking?
The dilemma I face with my writing is getting more in depth, spending more time to improve quality, and then having someone else read my work. This will provide additional insights into what works, what doesn’t, and I also need to focus on my audience so that I format the paper and use the proper tone. This will provide additional clarity in my writing as well as provide some order to my paper.
3. What issues, questions, and dilemmas are you going to explore further? Why and how? How will your actions influence who you are and how you relate to others? What relational nets can you construct to continue this process of reflective and critical learning?
I would like to talk with Dr. Deb about my writing, critical thinking, and how to dive down once I have scratched the surface. I know I have a lot to offer, and being in this class, I am not afraid to vocalize my confusions or voice my opinions. What happens when I am at work? J
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